every bird you ride, every place you hide, every donut you–d’oh

Sorry, guys, it’s been an off week here at The Elephant–a lot on my mind and nothing on the page.  Here’s some highlights from double-guitar virtuoso Zack Kim to keep the blog from blowing away:

Here’s his full youtube stream, I think there’s something for everyone in there.  See you all next week!


civony: the hotness of your naked queen

civony1I have gotten hundreds, literally, a couple hundred google hits on this entry I posted about Civony, the half-assed-looking new browser game that is sweeping the nation with its blitz of extremely low-budget ads. I must say, the campaign is brilliant.  Not only are they combining cheap sexiness (and by “cheap”, I mean “ripped off from a costume catalog“), total market saturation, and absolute scamminess, but they seem to be consciously not disseminating information, so that a quick search brings up no significant results beyond their homepage–not even a Wikipedia entry.  We are forced to keep googling, driving up its page ranks or whatever, in a desperate attempt to figure out what the hell it is, and how such a crappy-looking thing can have such a large ad budget.

I guess the real question is, can these guys put together enough money to but a drug villa in Mexico before various copyright holders descend upon them like a plague of sexy, sexy locusts?

(If you got here via a Civony search – are you playing this game?  Are you just as baffled as the rest of us?  Or are you just a search bot, morosely clicking about your duties until someone does you the kindness of cutting your power and letting you fade away, putting this miserable life behind you?)

start your journey now, my lord

civonyWhile doing research for my previous post, I came across this ad on YouTube.  I have not clicked it, nor googled it yet, as I would like to first react to the ad itself, before diffusing my confusion with actual knowledge.

So, what are we looking at here?  It’s like, one part Civilizations, one part Castles, one part softcore porn?  Perhaps you build structures to fend off other players who are attempting to steal your hot young queen, who you just abducted from a neighboring monarch, and whose sexual favors you unlock by impressing her with your martial conquests?

Okay, let’s just look it up before things get out of hand.

Nope.  It’s just Age of Empires, but they couldn’t find someone to draw a half-naked scullery maid, so they put an ad on Craigs List.  I guess ads on Youtube are cheaper than I thought.  Waaaaay cheaper.